Windows 10 hotfix (hopefully?)
Alright, so there's a problem with reading external files, and it seems to only be a Windows 10 issue. I don't have access to a Win10 machine, so I'll have to essentially guess as to the exact issue. I'm hoping it was a case with a specific file, and not my method of file grabbing in general.
For posterity; the hotfix consists of moving strings from an external txt file into an internal array and read from that array rather than fiddling with the txt file.